One fact I have learned in my short time on this Earth is that life can take a twist in the matter of the smallest instant. You can be placed down a road that will help you to grow in the most unexpected of ways.
That sentiment sums up my 2019 so far. I know that I have not been posting blogs as frequently as I used to and that is because I lost motivation, inspiration, and I just didn't want to write about disability anymore.
What is the purpose of Molly's Zone? What is life? What is my true purpose?
Those are some of the questions I had longed to find the answer to; at almost 27, I still felt clueless. I knew I wanted to continue writing. I knew I wanted to do fiction. I was also very aware of the fact that I had seemingly graduated from disability. Not physically, of course. But emotionally. I was done.
Recently, I had been too self focused. I do deal with anxiety (sometimes to a ridiculous extent) but a lot of what I had experienced lately was due to the fact that I had no reason to get up in the mornings, no routine, the ambition I had for writing and life in general dissipated. I became so burned out that everything I had going for me just came to a sudden halt.
A couple of weeks ago, my ninety one year old grandmother came to a point in her life journey that saw her make the decision to come and stay with my Mom & I. Adjustments have had to be made, and my life is not what it once was. However, I love my Mamaw being here with us. A new routine has been slowly developing & it is a comfort to have someone here throughout the day to keep me from becoming lonesome; life has definitely lost its boredom factor, that is for sure. I am her main caretaker when my Mom works; family helps however they can and that is something Mom & I am so thankful for.
Writing is slowly creeping its way back into my routine as well, which I am happy about. I am responsible for a lot more meals, housework, and night time maintenance so the blog is not my main priority anymore; it is a side project that I am still more than happy to do. I love serving the Lord as a writer; I would never totally cease to use my gift for Him.
It is amazing how normal you become once your life is not all about you anymore. I never have time to sit & think about ridiculous life happenings of the past, & I cherish free time. I will continue to attempt weekly blogs (maybe twice a week depending on how busy or tired I become...the combination of excessive movement & cerebral palsy work to create heavy fatigue at times but it is good for me. I had become unhealthily sedentary.)
I am so thankful to the Lord for digging me out of my self focused mud trap in this most unexpected way. I love you Mamaw. Thank you Jesus for giving me someone else to focus on besides myself.
I feel so blessed.
I am hoping to do blogs for all of February (a total of five counting this one) & I have fiction waiting patiently in my notebook to fluff up and send out to a flash fiction website I found. I never have gotten the chance to complete it yet. I take more time to rest, & I'm fitting in writing time whenever I can. I can't make any promises, but you all will see more of me.
Oh, I almost forgot in addition to writing I am now an Avon Representative; I decided to sign up a few weeks ago & I love it so far. (For my out of state friends, please check out my online store!) Avon has become a fun hobby for me as well!
Life has become wildly interesting but Molly's Zone is up and running. I apologize for my absence and I love all of my supporters.
February's theme will be love. Poetry, stories, personal blogs.
We shall see. Keep my writing in your prayers. I so missed it.
Love,
Molly
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