Conquering Criticism

 Criticism is a part of existence that virtually everyone has to deal with on a day to day basis; unfortunately, society seems to always have an opinion about what is going on in our world today. I think most people would agree with me that the world gets a little overwhelming at times. Am I right? Dealing with my disability has caused me to become someone who is extremely hypersensitive to words that are said around me if I feel that they are the least bit critical; I am not afraid to say that I am very emotional and that I also still struggle with obsessing over others’ opinions of me . I’ve grown up with that mindset, and I’m not sure that part of me will ever fully disappear. Today, I want to share three ways that I try to deal with it, and I also want to explain the difference between self criticism and constructive criticism. Knowing the difference will change so many parts of your life for the better, and I felt compelled to write on this subject today, because this post is something even I need to be reminded of in my life, and God really has been on my heart lately about several things and I just wanted to write about everything. I hope and pray that God uses me to touch someone with what I’ve written. 

1)    Reject the Label-  The main difference between constructive criticism and self criticism is that one serves to help us and the other serves to hurt us. Self criticism can start at a very young age, as kids start labeling those who they feel aren’t “normal”. Due to the fact that I have cerebral palsy, I was given such nicknames as “slow poke” or “grandma”, or even worse, I had some people saying that  I was “stupid” or “ugly”; horrible words that no child should ever hear. I feel sorry for today’s children because I have seen so many without disabilities being bullied; people will find ANY reason nowadays. My heart goes out to those children and their families. We as society need to quit labeling people, and work to teach kids to be accepting of those who are different. Nobody is perfect, so why do we judge? Why do we think we know everything? Constructive criticism is what people should aim to give. Strive to be a blessing to someone. Be kind. Be encouraging. Seek God and always put Him first. I often struggle with doing that so much, but life goes so much better when I give my all to Him. Let the Lord guide you; He will help you to grow and His wisdom will help you to accomplish more than any negative self-talk will; He gives the best constructive criticism. 

2)    Limit Outward Influence- I have found that my biggest worldly addiction of sorts is my love of my social media accounts. I love Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram so much. However, for the past week or so, I have been working to cut back on my time that is spent using those sites; I have also been praying for help with limiting my time on my cell phone because I  have felt God in my heart letting me know that I need to step back and just live life more in faith and less in the world. I’m doing well so far, but I won’t judge because I do post my weekly blog links on Facebook, pictures of my new house, and occasionally I like to take pretty pictures of my breakfast. I stay away from making posts that bash others, or posts that air my grievances with someone. A person is entitled to post as they wish, but in my heart I feel that the world would be a better place if people spent less time “venting” on Facebook and more time praying for the person they may or may not have an issue with; or better yet, why not work through the issue, if possible? I have been guilty of this many times over in the past, and I’ll just say it has created some cringe worthy memories. Social media is the number one place for everyone to have something to say, or to have an opinion; I enjoy keeping up with my friends and family that I don’t get to see often, but sometimes I just read my newsfeed and  think to myself…why do people care so much what others think? Why do I care so much? I think we as humans often forget that what God thinks of us ultimately matters most.

3)    Eliminate “I Can’t”- The “I can’t” attitude is the biggest joy killer in the world. A person who says “I can’t” will never do anything positive for the world. God wants you to have confidence in yourself. However, you cannot do anything without God. God will strengthen you, and He will be a help to you if you let Him in. My biggest issue with being a Christian, and having cerebral palsy is trust. I learned not to trust many at an early age. I am stubborn, and I like to think that I can handle all that life throws at me; but every time I’ve tried to steer my own way, I have crashed, and I’ve always ran back to God. We must realize that self criticism and our strength will never help us in our journey of personal growth; negative self talk will destroy any sign of positive life, and we alone won’t have the strength to power through difficulties. 

I wrote this blog because it was put on my heart to discuss it. I am not a perfect example of strength, and I am most certainly not the best at handling criticism of any kind. I feel that there are people with disabilities, and people who don’t have disabilities that forget who they are living to please; we get so stuck trying to elevate ourselves that we lose the core of who we really are in the process, and we forget  to thank God for what we do have, and for helping us to grow during our life journeys. I hope by sharing my strategy of rejecting labels, eliminating worldly influences, and saying goodbye to the “I can’t” mindset, I have shown people an effective way of combating criticism. You may not completely get rid of the negativity, but you can at least change your reaction and that is what makes all the difference. Thank you to all my followers for reading today’s post; I hope you truly enjoyed it!
 

Strength Through Struggle

While searching for possible blog topics for the week, I found a quote that inspired me to write one of my most candid, yet encouraging posts. Life with cerebral palsy has caused me to struggle so much, both physically and emotionally. I wrote this because every human faces obstacles, disability or no disability and to me, the quote is such a huge help and it reminds me that success and continued hope are within reach. The quote reads, "Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't". I am not a perfect example of strength, and today I wanted to share the top four things that I struggle with the most as someone who has a disability; along with my struggles I hope to share some positivity as well and I hope my readers enjoy today's post. 

1) Having Enough Faith In God: Faith has always been one of my biggest challenges throughout life; as a Christian, I am not afraid to be truthful and admit that I need more than what I've got. I gave my life to Christ nearly twelve years ago (June 24, 2004) and since that day, He has continued to amaze me as I have watched His plan for me slowly and continuosly unravel. He has taken such good care of me, has always gotten me out of the mostly self imposed messes I've been in, and has been a comforting presence whenever I 've called on Him. As someone who has a strong willed and mostly independent personality, I love to be in control of every aspect of my life, and I struggle with relying solely on Him. We as imperfect human beings need to realize that God knows us better than we ourselves. I know I need to trust Him more. Any hardship, especially being labeled as "different" is hard, but try to have faith because that will get you through; it will help you to defeat negativity and to conquer your challenges one by one. 

2) Perfectionism: I struggle so needlessly with wanting to be perfect. I know a lot of people with disabilities are the same, so I wanted to share my battle with perfectionism as a way of letting others know that they aren't alone. I am sure if we all had the choice we would choose to be without a single flaw. My theory on this thought is that our flaws are potentially the most important part of who we are; without them, you wouldn't be uniquely you. I believe that each person has a talent that they have been blessed with that holds the key to their specific purpose on Earth. I still have many nights of questioning what my reason for being is; I'm not entirely sure. My reason for including this struggle is to show others that it's okay to take your time with life; I've learned human perfection can never be achieved. You can only be yourself, and you should never try to be more or less than what you are capable of being. A disability has a way of making you imperfectly perfect. 

3) Dealing with Emotions: Emotions are a huge deal for me; I am by far the most emotional person I know. I feel that being perceivably different causes me to be a bit more sensitive than others to life's happenings; I'm not sure, perhaps I would be that way regardless. I'm human and having a disability is still a constant adjustment that I battle with on the inside. I have improved in my ability to handle my reactions to things through the years, but some days are still difficult. I don't know about others, but I am a crier; that is always my first reaction to everything good or bad, but once I get over that I'm usually okay. What you feel at a given moment is sometimes inevitable, but the best way to fight off unwanted or overly negative feelings is to always wear a smile and let life come together on its own, and remember the saying..this too shall pass! 

4) Self Acceptance: The core battle within myself would have to be self acceptance. No, I'm not my vision of perfection and I realize that I never will be. A disability will surely effect who you are and who you turn out to be. I am not who I thought I would be, but I know that I DO have control over how I carry myself. What kind of attitude will you choose? Self acceptance is a process; a very difficult road with lots of mistakes made and twists and turns that you'll regret, but my best advice on dealing with that is to pick yourself up and try to look at the brightside of things; it's hard when you are going through youth, but from what my Mom always tells me, age and maturity helps a lot and I have to agree. I'm not where I was when I was 15; with time life certainly does get easier. 

I wrote this post to share a side of myself that not many people see. I hope my words are a source of encouragement for others who struggle like me with the diffferences they possess. A disability is not a death sentence to any of the dreams you have; if anything, I feel that having cerebral is one of the main reasons I work so hard, and the sole reason why I have accomplished so much. I have done so much more with life than I probably could have or would have without cerebral palsy and I know there is so much more left for me to do. I have learned that you have to make the decision to let yourself grow and see what happens. 

Straight From The Heart: I'm Back!!!

Hey, everyone! My apologies for not keeping you all updated on what has been going on with me lately. Life has been crazy busy and I'm super excited. I am writing just what is on my heart today. My blog posts are usually posted every Tuesday, and I was planning on waiting until this Tuesday to come back to "Molly's Zone, but I couldn't wait. I'm so happy to be back, why should I wait?

I have a lot of cool things going on right now. I feel bad that I didn't formally announce my break; I just kind of left everyone hanging. I have spent these past couple weeks working on a great opportunity with WV SILC (Statewide Independent Living Council). I am working with a partner to put together a college success workshop proposal and it's a dream. College kids and that environment are two things that I am most passionate about other than my writing and blogging, of course. The workshop would be held August 27-28th at Marshall University as part of the Young WV Conference; it has to be done by July 13th and the chosen presenters will be chosen on July 15th. Super, super excited about that. Please keep me in your prayers. We are still trying to figure out what exactly the workshop would entail, but the actual Powerpoint portion is near done,there just needs to be a few final touches added. The rest of the workshop is purely interactive, which is just what I  want to do; get students involved. I'm so excited! 

I also have plans for a college success video script. No set filming date yet, but I am working on it. I wanted to appear at the NRS college transition camp  in that way this year, but it may not be done by then. I will keep everyone posted! I was not sure if there was even going to be a video as I was not sure how it was supposed to be done, but everything seems to be getting squared away after all. I'd love to use that for SILC in the future. Oh, I'm also going to be published in the summer edition of their newsletter (late July). I'm super happy! My 3rd time getting published overall.

Aside from all the work craziness, I have decided to start a book review/movie review blog on Tumblr (not sure who is familiar with that, it's another blogging site.) I want to incorporate blogging into my fun time. I either want to call it, "The M Chronicles", or "The M Scene", I'm not sure yet. Which one sounds better? I'm currently reading the first book in the "Twilight" series. I'm as far as chapter 15, and there are 24 chapters, so I'm almost finished. Almost! 

Well, I just want to thank all of my supporters for keeping up with my blogs. Again, I'm sorry it's been a while. I will be posting another blog on Tuesday, just to get back into my normal routine. Until Tuesday...