Conquering Criticism

 Criticism is a part of existence that virtually everyone has to deal with on a day to day basis; unfortunately, society seems to always have an opinion about what is going on in our world today. I think most people would agree with me that the world gets a little overwhelming at times. Am I right? Dealing with my disability has caused me to become someone who is extremely hypersensitive to words that are said around me if I feel that they are the least bit critical; I am not afraid to say that I am very emotional and that I also still struggle with obsessing over others’ opinions of me . I’ve grown up with that mindset, and I’m not sure that part of me will ever fully disappear. Today, I want to share three ways that I try to deal with it, and I also want to explain the difference between self criticism and constructive criticism. Knowing the difference will change so many parts of your life for the better, and I felt compelled to write on this subject today, because this post is something even I need to be reminded of in my life, and God really has been on my heart lately about several things and I just wanted to write about everything. I hope and pray that God uses me to touch someone with what I’ve written. 

1)    Reject the Label-  The main difference between constructive criticism and self criticism is that one serves to help us and the other serves to hurt us. Self criticism can start at a very young age, as kids start labeling those who they feel aren’t “normal”. Due to the fact that I have cerebral palsy, I was given such nicknames as “slow poke” or “grandma”, or even worse, I had some people saying that  I was “stupid” or “ugly”; horrible words that no child should ever hear. I feel sorry for today’s children because I have seen so many without disabilities being bullied; people will find ANY reason nowadays. My heart goes out to those children and their families. We as society need to quit labeling people, and work to teach kids to be accepting of those who are different. Nobody is perfect, so why do we judge? Why do we think we know everything? Constructive criticism is what people should aim to give. Strive to be a blessing to someone. Be kind. Be encouraging. Seek God and always put Him first. I often struggle with doing that so much, but life goes so much better when I give my all to Him. Let the Lord guide you; He will help you to grow and His wisdom will help you to accomplish more than any negative self-talk will; He gives the best constructive criticism. 

2)    Limit Outward Influence- I have found that my biggest worldly addiction of sorts is my love of my social media accounts. I love Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram so much. However, for the past week or so, I have been working to cut back on my time that is spent using those sites; I have also been praying for help with limiting my time on my cell phone because I  have felt God in my heart letting me know that I need to step back and just live life more in faith and less in the world. I’m doing well so far, but I won’t judge because I do post my weekly blog links on Facebook, pictures of my new house, and occasionally I like to take pretty pictures of my breakfast. I stay away from making posts that bash others, or posts that air my grievances with someone. A person is entitled to post as they wish, but in my heart I feel that the world would be a better place if people spent less time “venting” on Facebook and more time praying for the person they may or may not have an issue with; or better yet, why not work through the issue, if possible? I have been guilty of this many times over in the past, and I’ll just say it has created some cringe worthy memories. Social media is the number one place for everyone to have something to say, or to have an opinion; I enjoy keeping up with my friends and family that I don’t get to see often, but sometimes I just read my newsfeed and  think to myself…why do people care so much what others think? Why do I care so much? I think we as humans often forget that what God thinks of us ultimately matters most.

3)    Eliminate “I Can’t”- The “I can’t” attitude is the biggest joy killer in the world. A person who says “I can’t” will never do anything positive for the world. God wants you to have confidence in yourself. However, you cannot do anything without God. God will strengthen you, and He will be a help to you if you let Him in. My biggest issue with being a Christian, and having cerebral palsy is trust. I learned not to trust many at an early age. I am stubborn, and I like to think that I can handle all that life throws at me; but every time I’ve tried to steer my own way, I have crashed, and I’ve always ran back to God. We must realize that self criticism and our strength will never help us in our journey of personal growth; negative self talk will destroy any sign of positive life, and we alone won’t have the strength to power through difficulties. 

I wrote this blog because it was put on my heart to discuss it. I am not a perfect example of strength, and I am most certainly not the best at handling criticism of any kind. I feel that there are people with disabilities, and people who don’t have disabilities that forget who they are living to please; we get so stuck trying to elevate ourselves that we lose the core of who we really are in the process, and we forget  to thank God for what we do have, and for helping us to grow during our life journeys. I hope by sharing my strategy of rejecting labels, eliminating worldly influences, and saying goodbye to the “I can’t” mindset, I have shown people an effective way of combating criticism. You may not completely get rid of the negativity, but you can at least change your reaction and that is what makes all the difference. Thank you to all my followers for reading today’s post; I hope you truly enjoyed it!