Strength Through Struggle

While searching for possible blog topics for the week, I found a quote that inspired me to write one of my most candid, yet encouraging posts. Life with cerebral palsy has caused me to struggle so much, both physically and emotionally. I wrote this because every human faces obstacles, disability or no disability and to me, the quote is such a huge help and it reminds me that success and continued hope are within reach. The quote reads, "Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't". I am not a perfect example of strength, and today I wanted to share the top four things that I struggle with the most as someone who has a disability; along with my struggles I hope to share some positivity as well and I hope my readers enjoy today's post. 

1) Having Enough Faith In God: Faith has always been one of my biggest challenges throughout life; as a Christian, I am not afraid to be truthful and admit that I need more than what I've got. I gave my life to Christ nearly twelve years ago (June 24, 2004) and since that day, He has continued to amaze me as I have watched His plan for me slowly and continuosly unravel. He has taken such good care of me, has always gotten me out of the mostly self imposed messes I've been in, and has been a comforting presence whenever I 've called on Him. As someone who has a strong willed and mostly independent personality, I love to be in control of every aspect of my life, and I struggle with relying solely on Him. We as imperfect human beings need to realize that God knows us better than we ourselves. I know I need to trust Him more. Any hardship, especially being labeled as "different" is hard, but try to have faith because that will get you through; it will help you to defeat negativity and to conquer your challenges one by one. 

2) Perfectionism: I struggle so needlessly with wanting to be perfect. I know a lot of people with disabilities are the same, so I wanted to share my battle with perfectionism as a way of letting others know that they aren't alone. I am sure if we all had the choice we would choose to be without a single flaw. My theory on this thought is that our flaws are potentially the most important part of who we are; without them, you wouldn't be uniquely you. I believe that each person has a talent that they have been blessed with that holds the key to their specific purpose on Earth. I still have many nights of questioning what my reason for being is; I'm not entirely sure. My reason for including this struggle is to show others that it's okay to take your time with life; I've learned human perfection can never be achieved. You can only be yourself, and you should never try to be more or less than what you are capable of being. A disability has a way of making you imperfectly perfect. 

3) Dealing with Emotions: Emotions are a huge deal for me; I am by far the most emotional person I know. I feel that being perceivably different causes me to be a bit more sensitive than others to life's happenings; I'm not sure, perhaps I would be that way regardless. I'm human and having a disability is still a constant adjustment that I battle with on the inside. I have improved in my ability to handle my reactions to things through the years, but some days are still difficult. I don't know about others, but I am a crier; that is always my first reaction to everything good or bad, but once I get over that I'm usually okay. What you feel at a given moment is sometimes inevitable, but the best way to fight off unwanted or overly negative feelings is to always wear a smile and let life come together on its own, and remember the saying..this too shall pass! 

4) Self Acceptance: The core battle within myself would have to be self acceptance. No, I'm not my vision of perfection and I realize that I never will be. A disability will surely effect who you are and who you turn out to be. I am not who I thought I would be, but I know that I DO have control over how I carry myself. What kind of attitude will you choose? Self acceptance is a process; a very difficult road with lots of mistakes made and twists and turns that you'll regret, but my best advice on dealing with that is to pick yourself up and try to look at the brightside of things; it's hard when you are going through youth, but from what my Mom always tells me, age and maturity helps a lot and I have to agree. I'm not where I was when I was 15; with time life certainly does get easier. 

I wrote this post to share a side of myself that not many people see. I hope my words are a source of encouragement for others who struggle like me with the diffferences they possess. A disability is not a death sentence to any of the dreams you have; if anything, I feel that having cerebral is one of the main reasons I work so hard, and the sole reason why I have accomplished so much. I have done so much more with life than I probably could have or would have without cerebral palsy and I know there is so much more left for me to do. I have learned that you have to make the decision to let yourself grow and see what happens.