Late Valentine's Day Blog: Focus on Yourself

Valentine's Day is known widely as a celebration of love; roses, boxes of chocolates, or various gifts/romantic outings are designated for this special occasion as a means of showing affection. As a single person on this day, I choose to view it as a day of self reflection on what all I've accomplished as a young woman. I stay positive and look at the reasons why I'm okay with living life as it is. Relationships are a lot of work. I have been a single gal for nearly three years now and even though I miss the whole idea of being in love, I realize that for the time being a romance is the last thing I want or need. I'm not saying I never want it again. Right now is just not the time. I'd like to share with you tonight three main reasons why I'm choosing to be single and off the market. 

First of all, I love my independence. I don't drive, but I'm still very much self sufficient. I am a person who loves accomplishing as much as she can. If I ever do have a husband or kids, I want to make sure I create a wife/mother that my family will be proud of. My mother has always taught me to be my own person. I would love to instill that same drive and determination into any future family I may have; the foundation starts with how I go about ceasing opportunities and doing what I can to better not just the disability community, but the world in general. We all have some way we can contribute. I'm a continuous work in progress, and I'm just not ready to date again. 

Secondly, life in the past couple years has gotten increasingly busy! I'm near 25 years old, and I've still got plenty of life ahead of me. I'm young. I don't need to jump. I just want to solely focus on my writing, my involvement with WVSILC, and a career in making lives better that's instilled with as much passion and soul as any romantic relationship would ever have. I am 110% serious about the hopes and dreams I have for my future. I know me well, and if I get sidetracked by any means..my career and my level of commitment would suffer greatly. I can never seem to find a balanced medium. I have the Lord, my Momma, my dog Ollie, and I'm soon going to have a new fur baby, which I am both very nervous and excited about. I am happy, and I'm surely not missing out on any blessings. 

Lastly, I am very leery about getting into another relationship. I have never met "the one" that everyone seems to say you just stumble across. I am not having much luck with the men in this society; seriously I'm going to get blunt here..but what is with guys just wanting to cuddle or be nasty? I don't understand what happened to the men who wanted an actual relationship or a life with someone and put God first. Those men are far and few between these days, and it's really sad. What's happened to men with ambition? As I said, they do exist; the selection to choose from just gets fewer and fewer with each generation. I'm old fashioned. I like romance. I like talking interests. Music. I don't just want to cuddle or date because I'm lonely and need loved on. I want to date because I like who the person I'm dating is on the inside. 

I'm hoping one day my prince will come. The most important key to loving someone else is deciding to get yourself situated  in life before anything else comes into play. I saw this quote online that says we are all on different life clocks..so I'm just waiting to see what's on my clock next. Who knows when romance will happen again? I'm not rushing it. After all, the best kind of love is one that's worth waiting for.

What Can I Offer As an Advocate?

Every person who lives with a disability faces huge challenges in this world. The core issue that stands in between those with disabilities and having a voice that's heard is simply how the world defines what a disability is. For instance, Webster's Dictionary states that a disability is the condition of being unable to perform as a consequence of physical or mental unfitness; the definition itself bothers me because it is so vague and leaves room for someone to make the unfair assumption that those who have a disability can't function period. The thought is both unfair and untrue. I'm here today to provide my own definition of the word; I'm here to tell you that while cerebral palsy is a part of me, it does not define me at all; I'm a perfectly normal college graduate who is just trying to make her way in society. I haven't been dealt the smoothest of cards, but I have accepted life for what it is and I've made the best of what I have. I feel that I can offer three very important qualities to the ever growing disability community: a voice, encouragement, and a spirit of boundless determination. 

I cannot use my voice to speak for every disabled person, because each situation is unique and everyone has their own specific sets of challenges to face that vary vastly in types and severity. I do not understand what another impaired person is going through, and they can't perfectly understand me. I can and will speak on their behalf. First of all, I want to do whatever I can to rid the world of stigma that is placed on someone automatically just because they are "different". On my journey, I have done whatever I could to let people know that they can accomplish anything they set their mind to. I graduated from college with a 3.6 GPA, I don't drive, but I don't let that stop me. I have to rely on family and friends to go where I need to go. I still live life. I cook. I clean. I do laundry. I do everything that I'm physically capable of doing. 

Encouragement is the main purpose and hope I have in terms of writing. I used to be very shy, but it has opened doors for me and has given me the confidence I need to speak up and help others. I have always lived my life to inspire others. When  I was in the 7th grade, I wanted to be on the girls' basketball team, and I am so thankful that my mom let me dream. Knowing I probably wouldn't make the team she still happily took me for a physical, let my sign up and tryout with every ounce of love and support she had ; I in fact did not make the team, but I was the team manager for a little less than half the season. I had so much fun. I hope to encourage others to keep dreaming and keep going because you never know where life can take you. A disability is not a death sentence. You make accommodations wherever it is necessary; another example besides the driving is the fact that I cannot use a broom. I've tried.   I can't hold it right in my hands. My mom solved that problem by buying me a Swiffer Dry Sweeper that you can charge and use. I love it. There is a solution to every problem. You got to work with what you've got and learn to work around the hard stuff. 

Lastly, as an advocate I hope to instill in people a sense of determination. As I've stated, I know each situation is different but anyone can benefit from really being aware of the opportunities that lie before them; a lot are unaware that there is a whole community dedicated to advocacy, disability rights, and activism. I am determined and focused on lending my voice to speak on issues, spread the word about all of these organizations, to encourage others to get involved, and to inspire as much as I can.