As a writer, some topics are not easy to approach; some ideas just seem to not want to come together as painlessly as you want them to. I have experienced A LOT during my walk with the Lord; while I have had wonderful times, I've also faced many tumultuous times in the past that I find are still amazingly hard to put into words all these years later.
A house fire is one of the most devastating moments of horror a family can go through; I experienced this first hand as a shy, soft spoken twelve year old and I never want to go through another one ever again. We lost pretty much everything we owned except the clothes we had on our backs.
I will never forget that day as long as I live. A day so tragic, yet one that showed me my first true and personal testimonial instance of God's love and protection towards Mom and I.
January 30, 2005 served as both the climax and turning point of seemingly endless dark days that plagued my life at the time; I had gotten saved the previous summer, and Jesus first worked in my life by getting me out of a horrible situation and having us move to my grandmother's house.
On this particular day, we were in the actual process of loading our belongings and bringing them to the new house; we only were able to snatch one full load from where we were moving from before the place went up in flames and burned to the ground just minutes after we had left. Tobie, my seven month old miniature pincher was unfortunately left inside, as we thought we'd have the chance to come back and retrieve more belongings. She ran into my room to hide from the fire; she did not burn, but rather died of smoke inhalation. I still think of her from time to time, and I can't imagine how terrified she must of been going through that all alone.
I have to praise the Lord for letting us leave unharmed! We were so blessed to have been kept safe!
The second trip of boxes and furniture was to include Mom's kitchen belongings, our clothes, Tobie, and my bed. We were truly devastated to have our lives flipped upside down. What were we going to do? I feel so blessed to know that we made it out with some precious, irreplaceable items and I'm almost positive the Lord worked that way as well, making sure we kept the most precious of our memories.
Items such as:
-All of my Mom's major furniture
-My bible from the night I got saved that has my name and salvation date written on the inside of it.
-Actual tangible objects that make me remember Mamaw Ruby and Irene
-Home videos featuring them
-Mom's picture trunk with precious photos.
I'll never forget the moment I found out about losing my home. The memory is still so vivid after all of these years.
Mom and I were at my grandmother's unpacking that first load, and the second load was on its way to being picked up. We didn't move that far away from where we were. I remember getting anxious as more and more time passed, and the truck that was supposed to come with the rest of our necessities never came.
The sun went completely down, and it was now pitch dark. Still no truck.
Suddenly, as a car pulled up into the driveway, something in me knew. Something WAS wrong. Where was the truck? What's with the appearance of the car? Upstairs, I very faintly could hear the words, but I didn't want to believe they were spoken to my mother. There was no way. I had just watched a documentary in Tech Ed on house fires and what to do during such a thing. It would never happen to me though, would it?
Oh, but I heard. "Kathy, your house burnt down"
Words so very faint in volume, but yet as powerful as the plunging of the heart into the stomach. So powerful, that all I could do was burst into tears the moment I was personally told and embraced into the tightest of hugs. No one can ever prepare you for your reaction to devastation. Floods of tears led to me becoming numb in disbelief. I couldn't fathom such a tragedy happening in my family.
What life also doesn't prepare you for is seeing just how much the Lord can help you in your time of need by using those around you, and people you don't even expect to be there for you; that's what makes His love so special. I returned to school a few days after and as soon as I walked into the gym doors, I saw my friend with what I can estimate as six or seven bags full of clothes; that was one of the single most awesome blessings I've ever received, and to this day I am still ever so thankful.
Family pitched in. I was taken shopping. We received all kinds of donations from the community and sympathy cards. Prayers. Anything you could imagine. I get so happy still just thinking about how much people really came to rally around us. Love was shown.
Thirteen years later, my light shines brighter because of that fire and the many trials that have turned into my winning battles. Fire is what gives us our will to fight. Fire can sometimes be tricky, posing itself as something to break us when really it is just our light for Him being developed. The Lord is my first source of love: He has turned me into someone I am starting to like. I have accomplished a lot, I've weathered a lot of storms, and I've never lost my spirit within. You may get knocked down at times, but you have to continue to be His warrior; He'll never forsake you.
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