Four years ago, I transferred to Kanawha Valley Community & Technical College (now Bridge Valley) from West Virginia State University and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Bridge Valley provided support that I really needed, and deciding to go there helped me achieve the "college graduate" dream while excelling academically and enjoying myself because of the smaller classes and personable professors; I felt unmotivated at State and to be honest, most of the professors at a university don't care about what a person might be going through in their personal life. I am so grateful to have experienced the love and emotional support of my teachers, friends and student services workers while at Bridge Valley. I am amazed at how much everyone there truly cares about the students, their lives, and what's happening with them; it's not just a school for me but also a second family.
Self acceptance is something that I have always struggled with and I have to say the people that I became close friends with truly taught me a lot about life and their kindness is something I will always cherish. I learned how to be a true friend and how to own who I am despite my challenges. The single resource I found most useful in college was the extended test time provided by the disability services at the school.
My decision to pursue a career in medical coding came after I had graduated; I took a coding class right before my last semester and I loved it! I loved the brain challenge! I knew that being a coder wouldn't be a physically demanding job. I had to find work that I would love and an occupation that I could handle in spite of being handicapped. Against my mother's wishes, I returned to Bridge Valley, majoring in their medical coding program. I wanted to try anything to make myself more employable. The single most important thing I have learned throughout life is not to focus on what can't be done, but to focus on the positive and being a better advocate for your life. How do you do that? In my life, there have been two major ways of doing so that I have focused on.
Conquer Your Feelings: I want to start this point off by saying that there is no possible way to understand the multitude of sadness, grief, longing for acceptance, the feeling of "why me?" and just a feeling of wishing for normalcy unless you have lived through it. Depression really sucks. I've been there. The parents aren't the only one who grieve for the child they wish they had. I've often wondered who I would have been. I've gone through a deep sadness of feeling like I'm nothing in this world. I know what it feels like to identify yourself with others because you feel you have no true sense of self. People with disabilities are natural crowd pleasers and we all tend to dwell on the negative. At some point, you have to learn to be in control of your own happiness and success. It is hard. The best thing you can do is pray for strength, get up and live your life! Don't give up!
You Are Smart Enough: Let people see how brilliant you are and what you're capable of. Show them that you can adapt to any situation. Show them you're dependable. There are so many misconceptions about people with disabilities not being able to do much. In my case, I may not complete a task exactly like someone else, but I am a perfectionist with all that I do. You won't get that with just anybody. Prove to them your limitations can be a strength and not a liability. In all reality, we are just like everyone else!
If you'll do these couple of things, you still may not get that job you want or the life you think you should have, but I guarantee that you will make quite the impression on this world. Stay strong!
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