My 2015 Blessings

The Thanksgiving holiday is just a week away and I couldn't be more excited. I enjoy the meal, and the time with family spent, even if it is just me, my brother, and my mother at the dinner table. 2015 has surely been a year full of peace, joy, and blessings; it is quite the positive change from the previous year that was filled with illnesses, despair, and difficult circumstances. I found it difficult to put into words how much I am thankful for, because so much has changed in just a year, but I wanted to get in the holiday spirit this week and share the things that I am most grateful for. 

First and foremost, I am most grateful for my relationship with Christ. I came know Him as my Savior at the age of 12 during Vacation Bible School one night at the church my sister and her husband went to at the time; when I got saved, everything about my life changed for the better; that time in my life had been particularly difficult. God has always taken such good care of me, no matter what I've faced or what I've done. The mental health issues I have faced have been around for some time now, but I am so happy that I have God who loves me enough to see me through it all and to guide me, even if I sometimes have trouble trusting in Him. I'd like to think that growing up with a disability has turned me into a woman with super strength who is amazingly radiant; I used to feel this way, but it was this year that God helped me to realize that being a Christian doesn't mean I'll ever be superhuman, and that it is vital to rely on Him only. I still battle with myself every day, but I also have God who had the power to rebuild me when I had no power or desire to function I'm thankful to be on a much healthier path in life these days. I never imagined I'd be enjoying life so much. He's given me courage that I've never had before. He's given me to power to own my flaws.  I'm thankful He gave me what I

couldn't give myself. I'm thankful He sees what I can't; each day is now a pleasant surprise instead of emotional chaos. 

My second greatest blessing has to be my mother. We are best friends who have been through so much together; to me, she is the person I love most. I don't know what I would do without her. I have put her through some stressful times; dealing with me is no piece of cake, but she has always stuck right by me and for that I'm thankful; her unconditional love for me has always meant more than she knows. 2014 really was a difficult year for both of us. My mother was finally diagnosed with discoid lupus after suffering some serious health issues in previous years. Autoimmune diseases are scary business; as a daughter, it was heartbreaking to see my mother struggling to catch her breath and staying so exhausted; not to mention her skin was so inflamed that it was nearly purple. I felt helpless. I'm happy to say that 2015 has been a brighter year for her as well; she has been sickness free for nearly a year thanks to taking precautions when it comes to sunlight and medication. She is the sweetest lady I've ever known, and I feel so lucky to be her little girl; no matter how old I get, the unique bond between my mom and I will never be broken. I love you Mom!!

My third greatest blessing is the opportunity that I've been given through Next Right Steps. Calling this part of my life an unexpected blessing would be an understatement; I had been praying relentlessly; I needed so badly to find what it was God wanted me to do; it was a definite answer to my prayers. This job has been the most amazing experience I've ever had; I love getting to be an open book and sharing so much of my life story every week; I've not always understood my life in the clearest way; to be completely honest, I've done a lot of things wrong. If I can make someone's life a little bit better because of the blog, then I think that is a great purpose. I'm thankful that people enjoy it. I am anxious to see what other doors may open for my future as a writer. 

My last greatest blessing is the friends that I have acquired through the years; in recent months, I have gone back to being a loner. I can be a bit socially awkward, but I am thankful for the people who have made me a part of their life in some way; I thank them for being a source of encouragement and support for me through the years; life is not easy, but I hope they know how much I appreciate them. I have been staying very busy lately, but I cherish each and every person who becomes my friend and I like to let them know I'm thinking of them from time to time; I feel it is important to say hello every once in a while to those you care about.  

Writing this post was difficult because I find it hard to express just how grateful for life I really am. In the past year, my faith in God has truly been strengthened and my life has gone from a place of pure distress to pure blessings; giving up on the idea that I  could handle my life is all it took to feel alive again. I am thankful for every breath I have taken, and I'm so blessed to be in the best shape of my life. I can't wait for turkey, dressing, and all the fixings next week, and I hope everyone has a safe, blessed Thanksgiving!